What Are You Thankful For?

Thanksgiving. The time of year people really acknowledge all that they are thankful for. Also, a time for family, friends, and eating….a lot of eating. This year, I thought a lot, too. There really are so many things that I am grateful for.

I’m grateful for my family, who, no matter how dramatic they can be are always the people I know I can endlessly count on. I’m grateful for my friends, the ones I see all the time and the ones who aren’t around as often as I’d like them to be. I’m thankful for my boyfriend, who has never ceased to make me laugh. I’m thankful for my job, which is really not a job at all. I’m thankful for my education and all of the doors it will eventually open up for me.

Most of all, I’m thankful for this day. Thankful that I get to take a step back from the busyness of my day-to-day routine and think about all this, pray for all this. I’m thankful for this day that I get to spend with my entire family, that I get to laugh till it hurts, that I get to dress up for an hour and then sneak back into my room and put my slippers on, that I don’t have to count calories, and that I can go to bed at 9 p.m. and have that be acceptable because of the tryptophan.  

Come to think of it, it’d be really nice if we could have a sort of “thanksgiving” every day…minus the overeating, picture-taking, and high heel wearing. It would be nice to consider everything that we are thankful for more often than one day every November. 

The Dreaded Certification Exams

Responding to: http://investyourloveinvestyourlifexx.blogspot.com/

Title: “I was scared, tired and under prepared…”

So, I’m almost positive everyone has felt the same exact way as you, myself included. It’s funny because we go into the first two certification exams and we’re like, “seriously, did I just take that?” Really, we feel relieved because we’re certain this is gong to be a piece of cake. We then register for the final exam, the CST’s, so excited to take it and be DONE.

Here’s my brief story:

I have to be honest, I was not nervous for the first two certification exams. My sister is a year older than me, graduated from Adelphi a year ahead of me, thus, took the certification exam before me. She assured me that the first two were cake, and that the CST was the one I’d have to worry about. She knew people who’ve failed several times before finally passing. So, I started to get nervous. I ordered the book and when it came in I immediately opened the book and began to study. I had the same exact reaction as you, “is this for real?” I answered a few every day, but I promised myself I wouldn’t “cram” the night before the test. I would just bite the bullet and say, “Well, I’m going to get some ludicrous question where I’ll need to use the best of my knowledge to make an educated guess, and of course I’ll get some Emily Dickinson quote and have to analyze, interpret and relate it in some way I haven’t figured out yet.”

I basically woke up in the morning KNOWING that this was not going to be my last certification exam, knowing that I was going to need to retake the CST’s. I totally had that same, this-is-such-a-long-test, kind of feeling. I opened up the test and began reading. One hour…two hours…three hours later I’m up to the essay. Of course, by this point I’m so physically and mentally exhausted, not to mention the fact that I have a pounding headache from the fluorescent lights in the “multi-purpose room”, a.k.a. GYM.

I crack my knuckles (I know, I know, bad habit) and begin reading the prompt. Can you guess what my essay was on? EMILY freakin’ DICKINSON. So, at this point I’m scared because I feel like I have psychic powers, and of course nervous because I’m not so prepared for this. Luckily I’ve read just enough Dickinson to know the basics.

I walked out of the exam being excited that it was finally over, and knowing that I was, unfortunately, coming back. I had honestly come to terms with the fact that I failed.

Three months later I get an email saying that my grade would be posted later in the day. What a buzz-kill for a Friday night, huh? I received the email while I was out to dinner with my girlfriends. They told me not to open it until I got another drink. So, I chugged it, like the lady that I ALWAYS am, and opened the email. I passed.

So, here’s the moral. Keep your head up!

Proofread? Oops!

Since many people around me know that I have a degree in English, I seem to be the first person on everyone’s list to proofread a boring paper. That’s the unlucky part. Particularly, though, the majority of people who seek a “professional proofread” are still attending high school. That’s the lucky part. It’s great practice for someone who is just starting student teaching, right?

So, let me get into the story. Last week my boyfriends little brother asked me to proofread a paper for him. The topic was “ethical decision making.” Pretty interesting, I thought to myself, and faithfully accepted (really, I would have accepted if he had written a paper on different types of tree bark). Once I finally got a chance to sift through my own assignments for school, I opened up his paper.

I have to be honest, despite the fact that it was 11:30 at night- and anyone who knows me, knows that I am usually on my 10^th dream at that time- I was excited to proofread and edit this paper! I felt like a real teacher. My first comment was on the title, which he lazily used “Ethical Decision Making.” Needless to say, I typed a bold, red “LAME!” right next to the title. Too much?

I then gave him some tips for creating a great introduction, including feedback on the “grabber” and “clincher”. Everything was going smoothly, until….after reading the third page I went back and saw. . . ALL RED! What the heck was I doing? First of all, it was freakin’ 12:25- gosh, I’m going to be cranky tomorrow- second, this was NO way to edit! I was practically rewriting the paper for him. I took a step back and actually laughed. Ha, I’m going to be a great teacher, writing all my student’s papers for them!

Well hey, the first step is admitting it right? I quickly reestablished my position in this all. I’m a grad student; he’s a freshman in college. There are going to be obvious differences in our writings and I need to not only acknowledge this, but appreciate it. So, for the rest of the paper I made my grammatical corrections, added in some feedback and suggestions and the end, and sent it off. Clearly, he was teaching me just as much as I was teaching him.

My Mother Never Says "No".

            My mother never says “no”. She’s just that kind of person. You know, always giving. She comes from a place of “yes”. I see this especially for my sister and I; she never denied us of anything when we were growing up. This might have come from my Dad leaving; she felt that she needed to give us the world in order to make up for the lack of a father figure. Every Friday before she met us at the bus stop, she’d stop at the bakery for huge black and white cookies. Every Saturday after dance class she would have a surprise waiting for us when we got home. Nine times out of ten it was another mysterious adventure of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

            Now, as an adult my dream is to give back to my mother. I want to shower her with expensive gifts and fun Saturday surprises. A red Corvette, “Two seats are just enough; one for me and one for the dog” she’d say. A three bedroom house in Myrtle Beach, fully equipped with two hot tubs- one inside, one out- and a cleaning lady. Huge flat screens in every room so she’d never miss an episode of Law and Order. She’d have a faithful dog that would never die, a faithful husband that would never leave, and two daughters that would love the hell out of her.

I will think of my mother when I am a mother, and of all that she has given me; both tangible and intangible. I will think of all the heart-to heart’s, the “its ok’s”, and the “don’t worry’s”. I can only hope that the love and laughter I will pass down to my children can equal at least half of the love and laughter my mother has embedded in me.

So, for now I will continue on the path I am on, the path that my mother has steered me towards. I will give her back all of the love and support she has given me, and more, because if there’s one thing that has stuck with me in the past 23 years of “yes”, it’s that my mother, Denise, deserves to have it all.